I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i will never coherently bang her
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize