I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
