So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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