I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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