i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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