it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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