As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
