I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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