You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
