she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
