Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
please don't ironically join a cult
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
