Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize