didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
