I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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