Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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