do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I did not marry a roomba.
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