well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Randomize
