he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Drake has all the answers
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
