Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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