Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
