I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
