Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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