let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
