Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize