Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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