i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
