i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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