Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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