You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
