dude i'm inner monologue high
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
