never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
