tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
