So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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