Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
