My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
