I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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