i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
