what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My breasts were aching with rage.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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