The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
