Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
