I think i peed on brittanys purse
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
not ubering you a puppy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
