You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
