I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
