Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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