I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
