I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
