Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
