Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
