Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
