Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
