You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
