Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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