Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
