the condom got lost in my hair
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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