I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
