I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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