my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
