I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
