Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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