Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
